In Primal Mind, Primal Games, we show how bullying actually reflects Fighting Function behaviors gone awry. By displacing other forms of normative emotional function, they not only become dominant, but addictive to the person using them as a strategy to navigate life’s trials. Yet today, this is not how we typically think of bullies. Instead, bullies are generally vilified caricatures, figures to not only be called out, but to be shamed, denounced and even socially isolated for their unthinking penchant for emotional cruelty. It is important to understand that many who now exhibit bullying behaviors were themselves once the victim of bullying. Thus in responding to bullying, we need to exercise far more understanding, compassion and self-education than we might think, if only to prevent a blame cycle from becoming implanted in our thinking.

That said however, naming bullying behaviors within one’s social sphere can of course be a very helpful first step in the longer, more complex process of bringing it to a stop. In fact, by raising consciousness about the matter, it becomes a valuable departure point for a wider collective process involving empathy all around. For example, naming bully behaviors as they arise is one means for people to move out of Appeasing Mindset tendencies, and to develop a wider set of psychological tools in relation to what one needs to do when being confronted by a bully. In this regard, modern society at large is in the throes of a wider social experiment, one whose ultimate outcome is still being worked out since so many of the institutions and political structures in which people operate remain some form of power hierarchy. And because newer models of social structure are still in the process of working themselves out, it may be some years yet before we get over this particular growth challenge in our development as a species.

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